Teaching Social Skills to your children

As parents, we all want our kids to behave. In a perfect world, kids would be good all the time and everywhere, but that’s a pretty tall order and doesn’t always happen. For most of us, if we have to pick between good behavior at home or good behavior in public, we’ll go for public every time.

When your children throw public temper tantrums or neglect to say please and thank you, they aren’t being their best selves. The good news is that you can help your kids shine in public by teaching them good manners much like you teach them to tie their shoes and make their beds.

Pre-Teaching Social Skills

According to Dr. Nekeshia Hammond, pre-teaching is the key! Just as we wouldn’t expect a child to immediately understand how to bake a cake after the first time we show them, we shouldn’t expect kids to understand manners if it is the very first time they are learning about them.

At a neutral time (everyone’s calm and no one’s in trouble) and before your child needs the skill, describe exactly what you want him to do. Young children learn best when lessons are brief, consistent and repeated often. Give step by step instructions. Think in basic, clear terms, such as, “When someone gives you something, you should look at the person, smile, and say thank you.”

Make instructions clear and concise. Add each step one at a time. Allow your child to practice the steps separately before practicing the skill as a whole. The best way to make the skill “stick” is to have your child practice often and in many different situations with lots of different people. You expect your child to practice soccer skills or math facts as they learn, so why would social skills be any different?

Focus on the Basics

When you first start teaching manners and social skills to your kids, you should focus on the basics. If your children can introduce themselves, say please and thank you, and follow instructions, they will already be ahead of the game. These skills are necessary for being a good friend, classmate, student or person in general. They form the foundation for all social interactions, and it’s crucial that kids learn these early in life.

According to Dr. Wendy Rice, it is important to have playdates and teach your child to socialize early on. This can be one of the most important times for kids to learn important social skills that they will use for the rest of their lives.

When telling your children how or why to do something, like saying please and thank you, remember to be brief; children have short attention spans. Be consistent; you may need to teach a skill multiple times. Repetition is crucial. Model the skills and behaviors you want your child to emulate. Your kids always are watching you! Make sure to provide lots of practice opportunities.  

After your child masters please and thank you, introductions and following instructions, you can move on to other important skills that will help him or her grow socially. Teach disagreeing appropriately, listening and respecting differences using the same method. Don’t forget that practice really does make perfect.

Some great books to help you teach good manners are Dude That’s Rude and The Golden Rule. These books teach kids in ways that they can relate to, how to be polite.

Praise Them for Learning

Last, but certainly never least, praise your kids enthusiastically and sincerely when they use their social skills. You cheer when they make a basket or get a base hit after much practice and hard work—in the same way, praising your kids when they use good social skills builds your relationship with them and betters the odds they’ll excel socially wherever they are. Be consistent and praise often, and you will be amazed by the changes in their behavior.

Remember, it’s your job as a parent to teach your kids good manners and social skills. Humans aren’t inherently born with these skills. It is up to you to ultimately raise well-rounded and respected adults. As long as you remember to break the skills down into simple behaviors and have them practice as much possible, your children will catch on quickly and others will enjoy being around them as much as you do.

For more tips on how to teach your kids social skills, visit TBParenting.com or check out our January issue. 

by Angela Ardolino of Tampa Bay Parenting, TBParenting.com

Fun with Fruit Kabobs and Fruttare

Back-to-school shopping is finally underway, and as you consider your family’s lunch boxes it is a great time to start thinking about how you will fill them. Will you include gummy bears and quick fixes in their lunches? Or will you strive to keep the family excited about having fun with fruit?

Getting the whole family to enjoy fruit can be as simple as including tasty fruit in their lunch boxes — and don’t forget your own too!

I’ve partnered with Fruttare®, a delicious line of frozen fruit bars, to bring fun with fruit to your whole family. Not only are Fruttare® Fruit Bars delicious and made with real fruit you can taste, the brand is also working towards sustainably farming every piece of fruit that goes into a Fruttare Fruit Bar by year’s end. My favorite flavor is pineapple and I love that everyone in the family can enjoy their favorite flavors like coconut, strawberry, and mango, just to name a few.    

One of the great ways that we have been able to have fun with fruit was when the Fruttare Fruit Farm came to Tampa this summer. We made our final stop at The Suncoast Credit Union 8th Annual Back to School Fair. This gave me the chance to share my favorite flavors of the delicious Fruttare Fruit Bars with families from all over the Bay Area. We also made the famous University of Tampa Minarets with real fruit, which are recognizable in the Tampa skyline. This fun and simple activity is a party favorite, and everyone who made it was proud of their tasty and adorable treat.

Families also were able to get their own strawberry plant to take home at the Fruttare Fruit Farm, as a way to grow their own delicious fruit. I loved seeing families come learn about how to plant their strawberry seeds and of course enjoy a Fruttare Fruit Bar!  

Having fun with fruit is just one of the easy ways to encourage your whole family to eat more of it. An easy way to do this, is allowing your children to come shopping with you and pick out a new fruit to try. This will encourage them to try new fruits. They are also far more likely to eat it if they chose it themselves. Take those same fruits and mix them into a smoothie, or let your family get creative with it so that they can enjoy their creation.

After they’ve selected their favorite fruits, a great way to get them to enjoy it is to make fruit kabobs. They make an easy snack to include in a lunch box and, most importantly, taste yummy!

Fun with Fruit Kababos

Letting your kids use their unique personalities to create something crafty and fun can be a great opportunity to let them shine! And, when you let them pick which fruits they like, their tastes might be as different as their unique selves. Making kabobs is a great way to let everyone use the fruits they like, while allowing the kids to showcase their colorful personality and style.

Here is what you will need:

• Kabob sticks
• Assorted fruits (strawberries, mangoes, bananas, cherries, and pineapples are great for this)
• Small cookie cutters in varying shapes

Instructions:

• Layout the fruit your family selected, and use the cookie cutters to create a variety of shapes. Note: Cookie cutter won’t work on citrus fruits
• Stack the fruit onto the kabob stick

When you want to let your kids show their unique personalities, creating something crafty and fun can often be a great time to let them shine. And, when you let your kids pick which fruit they like, their tastes might be as different as their unique selves. Making kabobs is a great way to let everyone get something they like, and to let you see the colorful attitudes of each of your kids.

For this craft, you will need (2 servings):

About two cups of Assorted fruits (strawberries, mangoes, bananas, cherries, and pineapples are great for this).

All you will need to do is have your kids cut their favorite fruits into fun shapes, like hearts or stars, using cookie cutters or a Pop Chef which cuts fruit into fun shapes.

Have your kids stack and layer their favorite fruits onto the kabob stick, and you are done! They can save their kabobs for lunches during the school year, or for treats at home.

I am Angela Ardolino writing on behalf of Fruttare Fruit Bars.

Getting Back into the School Routine

By Angela Ardolino

Kids all over Tampa Bay are clinging to the last few days of summer but as the new school year approaches parents should be thinking about how to transition their kids back into the school schedule. Easing them back into a routine will help parents and kids avoid the anxiety that comes along with a new year.

The key to a stress free transition is starting early. Don’t wait until the first day of school to start a routine. If you start early, this will give your family time to get accustomed to the new schedule.

Night Before:

As school starts, establish everyone’s bedtime for the school year and implement them with a wind down period one-hour before their bedtime. The wind down time is a perfect time to pack book bags, make lunches, turn off electronics and settle in for the night. It will also ease the morning rush if everything is prepared. Keeping the house quiet and calm during wind down time will also ease the transition into bedtime.

Making sure your kids are getting enough sleep is very important. On average, school-aged children need at least 9-hours of rest. Any less, and they’ll be tired during the school day, making learning and retention almost impossible. Here’s a bedtime chart to use as guidance when establishing bedtimes in your home.

Bedtime Chart:

0 – 2 years of age: 7:00pm
3 – 5 years of age: 8:00pm
6 – 8 years of age: 8:30pm
9 – 12 years of age: 9:00 pm
12- 15 years of age: 9:30pm
15+ years of age: (Your child, by this age, should be able to decide when they need to go to sleep and prioritize their after school responsibilities accordingly.)

Morning:

Morning time should only be for getting ready. Doing anything more like packing bags, making lunches, finishing homework, etc. will make the morning stressful for kids and parents. Once your kids are in grade school try giving them each there own alarm clock, making each one responsible for getting up and dressed for the day without mom or dad.

Eating a healthy breakfast will also energize the kids for the first half of the day. Families often resort to cereals or other quick fixes that are high in sugar and have little or no nutritional value. Here are some fun, simple breakfast ideas for school days that involve little or no prep.

Afternoon:

Most of your kids will have homework on a daily basis and encouraging them to complete it right when they get home will leave the late afternoon and early evening for play time, bath time and family time. When the kids get home, snack time is the perfect opportunity for you to sit with them, talk about the day and what they learned as well as give them a short break before heading into homework. Giving too long of a break between snack and homework time might cause your kids to lose focus making it more difficult to complete homework later in the evening.

Their homework will hopefully be assigned to re-enforce what was learned earlier in the day. Find a quiet, well-lit area of the house where everyone can sit together to do homework. If you have older children, they can be the designated homework helper for your little ones. Of course, mom or dad is always around to answer questions but allowing your teens to take a leadership role will instill confidence in them.

After school activities are also a fun, great way for kids to learn new things outside of the classroom and make new friends during the week. Discuss with your kids what sort of activities they might be interested in doing after school like karate or performing arts and find one day a week where afternoon time includes these activities. If any of the activities involve and change of clothes or other prep work, make sure its done the night before and loaded into the car. You can find a full list of after school programs and classes online that might interest your kids.

The new school year is an exciting time to start fresh and learn new things. Creating a schedule that everyone can follow will help create a regimented and consistent school schedule.

Sources:
TBParenting.com 
ChildrensBoard.org
MomsWhoThink.com