Helping Kids Understand Divorce

By Angela Ardolino

Divorce can be one of the most stressful things a person can go through in life, and although oftentimes older kids have an easier time handling it, divorce can shake every family member up. According to a recent study, nearly 45% of marriages end in divorce, leaving quite a few kids confused and upset.

Regardless of the nature of your divorce, there are ways to help kids cope with the fact that mommy and daddy won’t be together anymore.

Tell the Truth About It

Often times this is difficult when the divorce is tumultuous, but it’s imperative to talk to your kids about it rather than let them draw their own conclusions. Dr. Hammond of Hammond Pscyhology says that kids need to be comforted and informed that even though the situation is sad or rough right now it will pass and no matter what you love them.

It may not be appropriate to share all of the details of the divorce with the kids, but having an honest talk with them will help them understand that the divorce is not their fault. They don’t need specific reasons why you are divorcing, especially when they are little, but keeping them informed will help them more easily navigate the scary terrain of divorce and will help them to feel comfortable enough ask questions they may have.

Address Changes That Will Result from Your Decision

Imagine that you are being told out of the blue that you will have to move away and see one of your parents far less. That would be pretty scary, right? So don’t do that to your kids. Divorce expert Ned Holstein advises that one of the best options is to tell your kids from the start that things may change. Explain in a way that doesn’t scare them that you may have to move, or that they may see one of the parents a little bit less but that it doesn’t mean they are any less loved or safe.

Make sure that when you are addressing the coming changes, you try to answer their questions as best as possible. It is okay to tell them if you don’t exactly know what will happen, but encourage them to remember that both parents will still be part of their life.

Break the News Together

For many families, co-parenting after divorce comes naturally. For others, not so much. But no matter which end of the spectrum you fall on, it can help kids understand more easily when they hear the news coming from both parents. Divorce expert Dr. Samantha Rodmansays that when your child feels caught in the middle, it can lead to disaster, so when you break the news show the kids that you are still both united in your commitment to parenting them.

Is is also important not to fight in front of the kids or talk negatively about the other parent to your child. In a lot of instances, things will just slip out, however it can lead the child to having more anxiety. If they hear you saying how horrible their father is, they won’t want to go see him as much which can damage their relationship. Conversely, if they hear daddy say how mean mommy is, they will go home feeling confused and angry. But, when you refrain from placing blame on each other and present a united front, your children will feel more secure and safe.

by Angela Ardolino for DaytimeTV 

Oxytocin Levels in New Moms

Widely referred to as the “love” hormone, oxytocin is an indispensable part of childbirth and emotional mother-child bonding. Psychologists at Florida Atlantic University are conducting a novel study to determine how a mother’s levels of oxytocin might be different in women with depression. The goal of this study is to look at how breast feeding, oxytocin and face-to-face interactions between a mother and her baby are impacted by depression and the mother’s oxytocin levels.

“We already know that pregnancy escalates oxytocin levels and that breastfeeding releases oxytocin, which have anti-depressive effects,” said Nancy Aaron Jones, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology in FAU’s Charles E. Schmidt College of Science and director of the FAU WAVES Emotion Laboratory located on the John D. MacArthur Campus in Jupiter. “In this new study, we are looking at oxytocin levels in pre- and postpartum mothers who suffer from depression to see how they differ from mothers who don’t have depression. Another novel aspect of the study is that we also are examining the oxytocin levels of the infant once they are born and how these levels change across development.”

Higher oxytocin levels in mothers may indicate higher oxytocin levels in infants, which occurs during breast feeding and interactive touching.

“We are really trying to understand how these varying levels of oxytocin affect the mother-infant emotional relationship as well as the baby’s emotional development and their emotional bond with their mother,” said Jones.  

New evidence shows that maternal mental illness is more common than previously thought and is estimated to occur in approximately 10 to 20 percent of new mothers. An independent panel of experts appointed by the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recently recommended that women should be screened for depression during pregnancy and after giving birth.  

Using a multi-pronged approach for the study, Jones and her lab team follow moms-to-be from pregnancy through the first six months after delivery. They use surveys that address depression, breast feeding and bonding, conduct home visits, and collect urine samples from mothers and their babies to test their oxytocin levels. They also look at changes in the babies as they develop using a specially designed EEG or electroencephalogram cap that gauges brain wave activity. They do the EEG when the baby is 2 weeks old, 3 to 4 months old, and again at 6 months old. Jones looks at the asymmetry in the baby’s brain to see how the left and right sides of the brain are communicating, which has been associated with emotional experiences and learning.  

“In our previous studies on breast feeding versus bottle feeding and depression, we found similar patterns of brain asymmetry in the baby and the mother,” said Jones. “What appears to be happening is that these babies are either inheriting or developing a pattern that is similar to their mother’s depression. They focus on the negative emotions and withdraw from stimuli as if they are withdrawing from the world.”

Jones has enrolled close to 50 participants in this current study and hopes to increase that number to approximately 250. Comparison groups in the study include depressed and non-depressed, breast feeding vs. bottle feeding, different levels of feeding (breastfeeding at first or exclusive breast feeding), different levels of depression, and different levels of bonding.

“If depression in mothers-to-be is not addressed and treated, these mood disorders can negatively impact the child’s well-being and the important mother-child bonding process,” said Jones. “So many women don’t want to talk about depression in pregnancy or postpartum because they think that it’s saying something about their inability to parent, and it’s not. There are a lot of factors that are contributing to mental health including hormonal, cultural or just the stress that’s associated with being a parent. And all of these things can be helped.”

The FAU WAVES Emotion Laboratory is focused on understanding the factors that contribute to the development of socio-emotional wellness during infancy and childhood. Funded in part by the National Institute of Mental Health, research in the laboratory is designed to explore and understand the contributors to optimal infant and child development.

All Children's Hospital Raises Awareness About Blood Clots

All Children’s Hospital Johns Hopkins Medicine wants to educate parents and families about blood clots. The hospital is sharing a new article on frequently asked questions about blood clots with families, highlighting the symptoms, causes and research being done in the area of blood clots.

Each year, up to 900,000 Americans suffer deep vein thrombosis -- when a blood clot forms in a large vein and blocks circulation. Although rare, pediatric blood clots affect one in every 10,000 children in the community. However, hospitalized children can become more susceptible to blood clots for various reasons including complications from central venous catheters which are used to give medicines, fluids, nutrients or blood products over long periods of time. Sometimes certain medications or lack of mobility can also cause blood clots in children.

All Children’s Hospital is continuing its effort to learn more about blood clots in children and treat these conditions. The hospital is leading the multi-center Kids-DOTT (Duration of Therapy for Thrombosis) clinical trial. With nearly 40 children’s hospitals participating in the trial from around the world and more than 230 children enrolled to date, researchers hope to determine whether children with venous thrombosis -- a blood clot in a vein -- can safely and effectively receive only six weeks of treatment with anti-clotting medication, called an anticoagulant, instead of the current conventional treatment duration of three months.

Neil Goldenberg, M.D., Ph.D., director of research at All Children's Hospital Johns Hopkins Medicine and associate professor of pediatrics at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, leads the pediatric thrombosis program at All Children’s Hospital in St. Petersburg, with hematology physician Irmel Ayala, M.D., and at the Johns Hopkins Children’s Center in Baltimore, directed by hematology physician Clifford Takemoto, M.D. Dr. Goldenberg is also helping to lead a national effort on blood clot risk assessment and prevention and hospitalized children. In the next few months, All Children's Hospital Johns Hopkins Medicine will become one of the first children's hospitals in the country to implement a systematic approach, powered by the electronic medical record and family-centered rounds, which will assess blood clotting risk and take steps for deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolism prevention on each child admitted to the hospital.

“All Children’s Hospital is advancing our understanding of blood clots in children with investigations to discover clinical and molecular predictors of outcome in this health problem that is becoming more common in children,” said Dr. Goldenberg. “In addition, the hospital serves as a participating or lead center for pharmaceutical company developed pediatric clinical trials of new anticoagulant medications. Furthermore, the multinational Kids-DOTT trial led by All Children's Hospital will help to define the standard of care in anticoagulant treatment for venous thrombosis in children and young adults.”

About Johns Hopkins All Children’s Hospital

All Children’s Hospital Johns Hopkins Medicine in St. Petersburg is the most advanced children’s hospital on Florida’s west coast and a U.S. News & World Report Best Children’s Hospital. As a 259-bed teaching hospital, All Children’s provides compassionate and comprehensive care while training the next generation of pediatric experts and leading innovative research to cure and prevent childhood diseases. A network of 10 outpatient centers and All Children’s Specialty Physicians at regional affiliate hospitals provide care closer to home. Founded in 1926, All Children’s Hospital continues to expand its mission in treatment, research, education and advocacy to help children from Florida and around the world. For more information, visit www.allkids.org