Avoiding Arguments

• Establish ground rules ahead of time.  When children know what is expected and knows what the rules are they are less likely to break them.  Once you’ve established the rules, explain why they exist and what the consequences are if broken.  When a rule is broken then the consequence must occur or they will not learn that there are consequences for their bad behavior.  If children can count on the rules staying the same, they're more likely to abide by them.  Punishments can vary depending on the age of the child (ie: time out, take away a toy or a particular activity, even a privilege like getting to stay up late).
• Don't say “Because I said so”.    Tell your child the reason behind the decisions you make.  Not because you are trying to prove your point or persuade them but so they understand why. In other words, don't try to persuade your child into thinking your reasons have merit. Some lessons won’t be understood until they are explained or they are older.
• Allow disagreement.   Listen to their argument and respect what they are saying. When your child disagrees with your reasons, talk it out and explain your reasons.  If you don’t respect what your child has to say, they will not respect or listen to what you have to say. 
• Choose your battles.  Give them two choices and let them choose from what you feel is appropriate.   If kids are constantly being corrected, and told what to do they tend to stop listening.  They must learn some things on their own and once they experience it, they will probably learn the lesson.  But don’t give in to unreasonable behavior.  If a tantrum is being thrown because they want something, the last thing you should do is give them what they wanted.   Reward good behavior not bad.
• Monkey see, monkey do.  Do not forget that kids learn how to handle disagreements by watching their moms and dads' example.  Your kids model themselves after you.  If you can control your temper, then you will argue less. So often, kids (and adults) let their tempers take control and something gets said that is hurtful and hard to take back.   Staying calm, assertive and polite makes it easier to resolve conflicts and stay in control.

For more information visit www.kidshealth.org and http://www.healthychildren.org

Ways to Save on Vacation

By Sharon Nolfi, M.A. for Tampa Bay Parenting Magazine, www.tbparenting.com

Your family loves to travel, but the price of vacations seems out of reach. Don’t stay home. Instead, learn the secrets of budget travel and go!  Start by following these tips.

•  Research And Plan Ahead of Time.  Snag the best bargains either by booking far ahead, or by waiting until the last minute. Use the Internet to book flights and hotels to avoid booking fees. Order free brochures from tourist board and visitor center websites; they often contain coupons offering discounts for local establishments.
• Involve Children In Budgeting For Trip.   Children are most likely to follow a spending plan that they helped to create. Listen and learn their actual priorities before planning expensive activities.  Decide together what each person will be allowed for souvenirs and extras.
• Pick The Slow Season.  This is possible even with school age children. Expensive resorts in Florida and Arizona are often 50% cheaper during the summer. Yes, it will be hot, but the elaborate pools and other water features make up for it.
• Start With A Picnic. The first meal of any family vacation should be one you bring from home. Whether shared on an airplane or a shady spot by the highway, a simple picnic is the first step to a thrifty holiday.
• Carry Food and Drinks.  Avoid high airport prices and bring food from home. Bring empty water bottles and fill after passing through security. Road trips offer even more opportunity to save on food costs. Carry shelf-stable snacks and drinks. Use an ice chest for perishables, with ice packs you can refreeze in hotel refrigerators. Visit grocery stores instead of restaurants.
• Rent A Kitchen. Instead of a traditional hotel room, consider a suite that includes a refrigerator and microwave. You can store food and prepare some meals yourself, perhaps eating out only once a day. A condo is the best alternative for longer stays, as you get lots of space along with a full kitchen. Search “vacation rentals” on the Internet.
• Stay Where Breakfast And Happy Hour Are Free.  Many hotels offer the first meal of the day at no cost, and complimentary drinks and snacks are served in the early evening. Some places even serve a free buffet dinner, usually with kid-pleasing fare like chili or pasta.
• Dine Where Kids Eat Free or Cheaply.  Look for specials offering free meals to kids accompanied by paying adults. Visit restaurants that have “children’s menus” and have your kids order from it. This strategy saves both money and wasted food. Consider ordering adult appetizers as entrees for children.
• Try Camping. Lodging is the most expensive portion of many trips, so a family that learns to sleep under the stars can save real money.
•  Vacation with Another Family. This strategy offers several benefits. You can split costs on a large condo or house, and organize a babysitting exchange so each couple can spend time together without their kids. Cooking chores  can be shared as well.
•   Reduce or Eliminate “Shopping” as an Activity.  “Browsing” in the quaint and elegant stores found in many vacation spots can blow a travel budget in minutes. Find more interesting things to do where you won’t be tempted to spend money.
•  Look For Free Activities and Souvenirs.  The great outdoors offer hiking, beach going and sightseeing at little or no cost. In cities, look for “free admission” days at museums and other attractions. Search local newspapers for deals and coupons. Souvenirs can be natural objects like shiny stones or delicate shells (collected where permitted), or freebies such as coloring books given away by park rangers.

You and your family can enjoy great travel experiences for a lot less money than you might imagine. The keys are advance planning, the right lodging choices, and using available discounts. You don’t have to stay home

Budget Travel Resources

1. Type “tourist board” along with your destination in any search engine to find websites offering free information and local discounts.
2. Check the website of any museum that interests you; most offer free admission on at least some days. Plan accordingly.
3. www.citypass.com For large cities, visit several attractions at nearly half the price you’d pay for individual admissions to each one. Buy ahead or at first attraction you visit.
4. www.entertainment.com Available for over 120 cities in North America. Coupons offer discounts, 2 for 1 deals and freebies for food, entertainment, shopping and transportation.
5. www.hilton.com The Hilton brand includes Embassy Suites that offer free full breakfast and happy hour and Hilton Garden Inns offering all that, plus a simple dinner.

Are they ready to walk home without you?

The killing of 8-year-old Leiby Kletzky in New York City is a stark reminder of how important it is to talk with our children about staying safe when we’re not around.

While we may want to watch over our children 24/7, it’s just not realistic or healthy. Children need the freedom to grow and handle more responsibility, but you must be sure they are ready and the appropriate age. A staggering 98 percent of children are abducted by someone they know.  So it’s not about not talking to strangers; it’s about teaching kids the truth and the realities of the world. 

Here are questions you should ask yourself to determine whether your child is ready to walk home alone.

• Do you have open, honest communication with your child? Have you taught her about the realities of life — the good, the bad and the ugly?
• Does your child know how to stand up for himself, especially in stressful situations? Is he confident and aware?
• Does your child know that just because someone is an adult it doesn’t mean they can tell her to do things she knows is wrong? While children should respect adults, you should also teach them that doing what is right is more important
• Does your child know how and who to ask for help, such as a police officer
• Does your child understand how to pay attention to trust his instincts?
• Does your child know that it’s okay to fight back to get away or out of a dangerous situation?
• Does your child know what to do if something does happen?  What to scream?  What to do? Where to go?
• Does your child know that she should never get into a car or go anywhere with someone she doesn’t know
• Does he know your neighborhood inside out and have a good sense of direction
• Does she know how to operate a cell phone to contact 911 or you?

For help on how to talk to your kids about strangers and other important topics, visit  www.kidshealth.org.

Shocking Child Abduction Statistics

Learn what to do yourself teach your child and trust your instincts.  Only you will know when they are ready. The horrific tragedy that struck a small community in New York earlier this week should be a reminder to all parents that open dialogue and communication with your children is key to their success and their safety.

How to Prevent Abductions